Her Melancholic Thoughts

things left unsaid

2008-09-15T23:18:00.000-07:00

I want to tell a lot of things to the other. But something keeps on stopping me, now I think this is the perfect opportunity to articulate what I have to say.

To start with, writing is really not my thing. As a matter of fact I'm bad at it.

These past few days were horrible, to the extent that I am still working on my over-extended deadline research paper. I admit that whenever laziness strikes I can't help but to become unproductive and worthless dumbass. And found myself at the bed lying and eating a lot of carbs (poor fatass ). Now I am slowly engaging myself into something retard (singing out of tune). So, I'm planning the "next THING", telling this... you know three words eight letters blah-blah. Isn't better to do it in actions instead of telling the other verbally? This is totally absurd, I kept on asking myself and I'm sure I'm dead if I ask myself again. I've been doing it over and over. But nothings change. I am drowned here, in this disposition that no one could ever know what I am going through. I do know that things will never be the same again with me and the other. However, there's still a little hope in me, that everything happened was just a nightmare. A nightmare that could be swept away the moment I wake up to the reality. Perhaps, my reality is also my worst nightmare ever. Ha-ha! Funny crap. The other tried patching things up but I became more pessimistic about the situation, about everything. I cannot keep myself from thinking bad things, until I came into my senses that I have to deal with it as if nothing is wrong. Pretending sucks, but I have no idea on what step to take, to surpass this dilemma. I don’t want the other to be getting affected too much, because I know that it wouldn’t be healthy for us both. Sighs. My memory makes me nostalgic, but suddenly everything was ruined.

Ewan ko, SABI NILA

2008-02-17T19:03:00.000-08:00

Sabi nila kung ang isang bagay ay hindi makakabuti sayo iwasan mo na ito agad sa simula palang. Dahil maari mo itong pagsisihan o magdulot ng di maganda sayo. Paano kaya kung nasimulan mo na? Kakayanin mo pa bang bumitaw? Parang sa sitwasyon ng mga tao sa paligid ko. Lagi ko sinasabi masarap mabuhay ng tama, yung wala kang tinatapakan. Yung tipong nagmamahal ka na walang sabit, kung may masaktan man isa sa inyo ng minamahal mo o ikaw lang. Kasi napaka sama ng pakiramdam nang nagmamahal ka nga may masasaktan naman. Ang labo pero ang linaw. Sabi nila, walang masama kung nagmamahal ka. Sabi nga sa bible ang "Diyos ay Pag-ibig" pero bakit may pagkakataon na hindi pwede? Kahit magmahal mali? Hindi ito usapan ng pagiging "kerida" o "kabit". Halimbawa nalang mahal ng isang taong malapit sayo. Alam niyong gusto niyo ang isa't-isa pero hindi pwede dahil alam ninyo na may masasaktan. Dapat ka pa bang magmahal? Ano ba talaga ang importante ang nararamdaman niyo niyo o ang mararamdaman o sasabihin ng iba? Sakit lang sa ulo. Nakakapagod kaya magisip kahit nakahiga ka lang buong araw. Nakakagutom. Nakakapayat. Nakaka-depress ikanga. Hay.. SAbi niyong nga sakin, kailan pa naging mali umibig? Ang hirap. Pero madali lang. Eh kasalanan nila sinimulan pa. Kung nagisip lang sana sila. Pero nagmamahal lang naman. Sino ba talaga ang tama? Ano ba talaga ang tama? Kailangan bang may masaktan pa? Eh di wag nalang magmahal. Ay ang pangit naman ata. Sarili kong opinion. Depende padin. Ang pag-ibig ay give and take, kailangan natin matutunan na magparaya, pero paano naman tayo? Dito papasok na Love is sacrifice. Ang hirap no. Wala naman kasing madali talaga. Ngunit kung gagamitin natin ang isip mas madali. Diba pag nagmamahal dapat ang puso ginagamit? Sundin ang nararamdaman o sinasabi ng puso. Teka, diba mas mataas ang isip? Pero sabi nila "The mind goes where the world leads it, The heart goes where it wants to go" So nasusunod ba talaga ang puso? Ngeh. Malabo padin..

POST NO BILL

2008-02-06T00:43:00.000-08:00

Post No Bill

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do it fast

2008-01-15T02:19:00.000-08:00

its really sucks big time when someone keeps you hanging. you've been waiting for something that you have no guarantee or assurance that it will come. the moment will pass you by without noticing that you've been striving to attain something you hoped for a long time. then you will find yourself trying hard to fill whats missing. picking up the pieces. it adds to the pain when you look back and it will cling to you again all the memories that once made you forget all the bad things. and at the end of the day, it was you, still you you will decide whether you hold on to the bitter-sweet or just go on thinking what might have been? no matter what you do its gonna be painful. and again it is you you will answer this questions, questions that will be left unanswered. will you take the courage of finding out the answer? or just leave it? it's hard. it's like the sweetest poison that kills you slowly. can it just go away? like a wind blowing? no. you have to get through it. it's like an homework do it later or sooner it will be there it won't go away so you have to feel it and deal with it. if you already got over it, the next time you will be doing your homeworks it would be easier for you since you have already encountered it. once you experienced it the next logical thing to do is to make improvements for a better you. coz it would never be easy. just like waiting. for nothing. am i making sense here?

Just my crap

2008-01-14T01:07:00.000-08:00

Afternoon to evening
Outside dining
Friend Reading
I am writing
My pencil is spinning
On a paper moving
Cars are parking
Stars are shining
Air is breezing
I am waiting

My phone is ringing
Someone is calling
Words inviting
Said you'll be coming
I am waiting

Beverage stirring
Coffee brewing
The wind is blowing
Sky is almost crying
And I am waiting

The lights are dying
The store is closing
Tears are falling
Would you still be coming?
Because I am still waiting

Birth date

2008-01-03T02:04:00.000-08:00

Thanks for the people who came and never left me Ü I owe you friendships poreber, I feel so blessed to have you in my INTENSE life Ü

Futile

2007-12-19T06:37:00.000-08:00

Call me "STUPID".

You are Special

2007-11-22T06:59:00.000-08:00

..there's nobody like you. Since then there has never been another person like you. Nobody has your smile, nobody has your eyes, your nose, your hair, your hands..your voice. No one who laughs like you, nor one who cries like you. You're the only one who has your set of abilities. Oh, there will always be somebody who is better at one of the things you're good at, but no one in the universe can reach the quality of your combination of talents, ideas, abilities and feelings. You're a symphony. No one will look, talk, walk, think or do like you. You're rare. And in all rarity there is great value. Because of your great value, you need not to attempt to imitate others..

God made you special for a purpose. He must have a job for you that no one else can do as well as you.

Out of the billion applicant, only one is qualified, only one has the right combination of what it takes. That one is YOU, because you're special.

Funny yet helpful OPINIONS about what could or should be done about one's bad situation

2007-10-26T03:00:00.000-07:00

Situation: "A girl was in such deep distress" personal problema perhaps.. She ask some close friend via text message an here's how conversation went..

"First Friend to the Rescue!"
Girl: I'm gonna die! I'm gonna die!
Friend Yellow: Why? What happened please tell me..
Girl: It's over. Soo over. I'm gonna DIE!
Friend Yellow: Please don't say that.. You are not going to die..
Girl: I know.. I've been saying it for like a 100x yet nothing happens.. I'm gonna DIE!
Friend Yellow: Hugs.. Don't ruin your day because of that. This time you know your better right?
Girl: No, I don't wanna stay here.. Not right now.. I don't know what to do..
Friend Yellow: You know what you can do this.. CRY. And tell me everything you hoped and expected.. All your heart aches.. That is what my bestfriend and I do.. Just let me know if you want to do it. I'll always be ready to listen..
Girl: All I did tell you, its true.. I'm sure I'm dead..
Friend Yellow: It sucks, big time..=c I just hope people around you will know your worth, you have the right to expect something deeper, more than that because the way they treat you..
Girl: Darn it.. I'm gonna die!
Friend Yellow: Dumbass-good for nothing bastard for making you be like that and for the false hopes they left.. Worthless playah that you could smash anytime you want.. I love you..
Girl: You are so mean.. I just need a hug.. Thank you for being there.. (usual answers! ha-ha!)

"The BEST FRIEND from afar"
Girl: I'm gonna die! I'm gonna die!
BF: Ha? Anu ka ba? Wag ka ngang NEGA! Wag mo na isipin yan..
Girl: I'm certain most of the time.. Heto ang outcome.. I'm too confident, ganito pala yun..
BF: *** ka kasi eh masyadon kang naging passive pagdating dyantuloy nagiging madrama pero I look up to you kasi I know malakas ka kaya ako now? Malakas na at ready to fight bahala na kung magkasugatan ang important nagtry ka diba?
Girl: I just hope it will flow to me peacefully, no marks so that it will be easy for me.. I wish everything will be as simple just like a snap it will fade smoothly..
BF: Pero we are bound to get wounds and bruises right? So fight! Dadating naman yung moment kahit sugatan kana basta kapalit nun eh pusong totoo pwede na.Ü follow through..--Fave line ko from Marimar: "Kinamumuhian kita Sergio! Di nako maniniwal sa pagmamahal mo" hahaha applicable kay *****!
Girl: @#$%^&*!!! Sana may load ako para matawagan kita para marinig mo gaano ka krispy nun! Wahaha! You make me happy.. Thank you..
BF: Ayan tumatawa kana.. Yun naman ang goal ko mapatawa kita dahil nagseset up ka ng dramaton sa hapon.Ü
Girl: I'm gonna die! I'm gonna die! Kaya ko to diba? I just need some time alone.. I miss you..
BF: Basta pagkita natin gagawin natin lahat katatawan lahat yan..
Girl: Thanks! Keep safe! I love you..
BF: I love you..

"The Online Short Hair Friend"
SH: Girl
Girl: SH
to be continue..

The Shrine of Jesus The Way, The Truth and The Life, Reclamation Area, Pasay City

2007-10-25T10:16:00.000-07:00

Aside from opening the Mall Asia, The Shrine of Jesus is the only building here in the reclamated area. Where you can feel solemnity while praying because of the still and quiet environment. Ü I really love this place! Been visitng the church before, and I really want to visit again and regularly. Reaching out!

PS:

Please observe proper attire when visting churches. Sleeveless, Shorts and the like are NO-NO!

Pocoyo

2007-10-23T22:30:00.000-07:00

Pocoyo is a pre-school animated cartoon series about a young boy who dresses in blue and who is full of curiosity. Viewers are encouraged to recognise situations that Pocoyo is in, and things that are going on with or around him.

Characters

Pocoyo: He is a young boy who is full of curiosity and loves to play games, as well as discover new things. He is always shown wearing blue clothes and a hat. Pato, Elly and Loula are his friends. He is (always) four years old; his "birthday" (when he inevitably turns four again) is October 14.

Pato: Pato is a yellow duck who wears a small green hat. Pato means duck in Spanish, Portuguese, Tagalog, and Papiamento.

Elly: A pink elephant who wears a blue back-pack, but despite her size she is a graceful and gentle character, capable of ballet dancing. She usually rides around on her scooter.

Loula: Pocoyo's yellow spotty pet puppy and companion.

Sleepy Bird: A teal-coloured bird. She does little but sleep, and usually flies with her eyes closed...

Other characters

Whale: A huge, mute whale who Pocoyo meets under the sea.(Fred the)
Octopus: A red octopus (although with only 4 legs) who gibbers, and is very fond of singing, is sometimes referred to as 'Fred'.

Baby Bird: The small, screaming baby of Sleepy Bird, who gets into sticky situations from which he is rescued by Pocoyo.

Music Flower & The Band: "I believe that Pocoyo has the only musical flower in the world". Both play music, which Pocoyo likes.

Butterfly: A very hungry butterfly which Pocoyo occasionally catches.

Aliens: Sweet little green beings that Pocoyo finds in space in search of his toy plane.Ball Orchestra: A group of three (3) ball-like creatures who play Trumpet, Drum and CymbalsCaterpillar: A yellow caterpillar with a blue bow on top of her head. Speaks in jibberish like Octopus and has the ability to change into a butterfly and back when she wants.

Just a thought..

2007-10-16T09:11:00.000-07:00

Sunday is the day of the week between Saturday and Monday, as regarded as the day of worship by Christians. [cited from my Theology course] As a Christian I make sure to myself that I have to hear mass during Sundays with or without company otherwise it would be unnecessary to attend the coming Sundays again. So then, obviously I was talking about Sunday huh? For the reason that Sunday is scheduled for me. And it's called Tub's day. Cute huh. Tub's day is very important for me as a tubby and since it was only a day in a week I have to spend it very wisely. A time spent together which is in some way special, and this is often limited. Even so, the entire week is there.. If by chance thursday, friday, or saturday even holidays.. (I doubt it, it's a golf day for sure)

ha-ha! Just Kiddin..

Spending quality time with a special friend means so much to me, even just standing and talking about this and that.. Sharing thoughts.. Exchanging food.. Watching movies.. Important is they are having a great time together.. For me, he is someone who is open to me about his inner thoughts and feelings as I am with him. He accepts me as I am, even my negatives. Someone who makes me smile in the same way no one does. Someone i can confide. The person who understands me. Someone who compliment me the same as I compliment him. Laughs at me when I crack jokes. Who calls when he got time just to hear me. Tweet.

I'm a human creature again..

2007-10-13T21:18:00.000-07:00

Whew! Finals is over! The first sem of 2007 is over! Tao na ulit tayo girls! We really had a hard time meeting the deadlines of the effin school paper and here are the: Novel Analysis of First Love by Ivan Turgenev, Book Report of Walong Taong Gulang, Integrating Paper discussing from Aristotelian Classification to Fusion of Powers: Documentation of the Anyo ng Arnis SCHO, Documentation in Museums, Response Paper in Philippine GNP and reviewing for the departmental exams plus the bloody practices for our Culminating Activity in Arnis. I thank God that it is over.. Thank you for the people who helped me surpassed this crap. Well, good thing is I learned so much from this, I enjoyed the novel analysis staying up late asking everyone kung anung page na sila. Because you have to provide 11 pages of analysis plus a reference page and a title page all in all 13 pages. I realized that using your time wisely is the secret to accomplished not only what you want but also what you must. And it is important to develop your own style in managing your time and work. You have to identify the goals in your life that you consider important, decide that things which can be post-poned and need a immediate attention. Kewl. I just hope that I could still remember this during the next sem. Second sem for me always seem to fly quicker that i left so far behind in my readings and lectures. Though I always got good grades every second sem than the previous sem. I think I need to develop my study habits more.

TOO MUCH FOR SCHOOL...

After my last departmental exam which is Literature 1, I just decided to stay home because the people that I expected to be with is currently unavailable and too preoccupied. The next day I went to Bf to meet some friends. Had isaw and have dinner with tita at Cat mon and enjoyed our crispy pata. After change clothes wear pj's and lied down and talk. Wrestling, pillow fight and we also did our famous hazing. Haha! I got bruises too Smuch! It was a fun night at Cat mon with Trish, Tita Mama, Babe Miguel, Maybel BORD, Paul SALOT, and the rest of the family.. On the evening I crave for ice cream so Smuch and I went outside the village and bought a gallon of ice cream with our pj's on.. fun! We used only spoon and shared the ice cream. Laughtrip si Paul nangilo katakawan sa ice cream while deliberately showing it to his chat mates para manginggit. *karma* On the other hand its funny because on the other PC is Maybel who is a really call center agent! May kausap sa cell phone habang may ka chat and may naka view sa kanyang cam! hanep BORDs! Afterwards, we go to Laiya beside Central para uminom, there they have this Laiya Sling, you must try it.. and got home around 4am.

The next day, Smuch had lunch dito sa bahay. Waited for me and we had our dinner at UCC Cafe. Chi-chats and stuff. On 8pm quality time with Amado for Resident Evil 3, you must watch it.. Then meet Be for a social drink and night out inside Temple Bar.. and kewl we got free beers from kuya who is a bartender friend in Temple.. funfunfun.. Then chicken nuggets breakfast in Mc do..

Homework in Filipino

2007-09-11T04:32:00.000-07:00

Tanong: Panutuan sa pagpili ng lalaking mamahalin.

Sagot: Madami na akong nakilalang tao, iba't-ibang klase. Sa paraang ito ay natuto akong kumilatis ng uri ng tao. At napagtanto ko na hindi lamang makikita sa panglabas na itsura ang pagkatao ng isang nilalang. "you have to know them deeper" ikanga. AT sa aking masusing obserbasyon ay ang lalaki ay isang indibidwal na natatanging nagpapatibok ng puso ng mga kababaihan. At narito ang mga mekaniks para mapatibok ang puso ko...

may respeto sa sarili (pag wala kasi, wala nadin ako respeto sa kanya)
may matinding takot sa Diyos (as in takot talaga)
presentable (hindi gwapo pero rock!)
maiintindihan ang pinaka pangit na kaugalian ko (sadist daw ako eh)
mahaba ang pasensya (yung hindi marunong magalit kahit anung gawin ko)
mamahalin ako sampu ng aking pamilya (lalo na si popsie at momsie)
kikilalaning ama ng aking mga anak (too early for this?!)
makakasama kong makape hanggang may puting buhok na kami (cool)
ipapaalala sakin lahat kahit may alzimers nako... (short term memory ako eh)
hindi magsasawang magpapakain kahit baldado nako... (nakakapagod kaya kumain)
kasama kong mangarap (fairy tale ba ito?)
seloso (yung tipong manununtok pag may boy let)
pinapakelaman lahat ng gamit ko (lahat-lahat)
mahilig sa rock music (rock n' roll!!!)
may natapos, may pangarap (ayoko sa mangmang)
kung sino pwede ako laging magreklamo
confidante (masasabihan ko ng kahit ano lalo na pag may krash ako)
tatanggapin ako pati nakaraan ko (lahat-lahat)
magpapatawa sakin habang umiiyak ako (seryoso to ah)
magpapa make - up sakin
makikinig sakin kahit walang kwenta mga sinasabi ko
quality time kahit busy
totoong tao
go biglaan ang mga lakad na malalayo (as in out-of-town)
pinapangiti ako pag may problema
no inhibitions
may tiwala sakin
papayagan akong uminom pag magkasama kami (taga linis ng suka ko kung masusuka ako)
tuturuan at susuportahan ako pag nagkamali (oo na ikaw na si Mr. Right!)
papagalitan (pag may nagawa akong mali)
babytalks (may sarili kaming language)
timezone!
ayoko ng pangako initiative nalang
manunuod ng cartoons tuwing free time

Makakita kayao ako ng tulad nila este niya...? Sino kaya ang taong may mga ganyang katangian? At pag nakita ko ba siya maging masaya kaya ako? Hmm... Ang swerte niya! AY ako pala... Promise magpakilala ka lang,,, Magiging matino nako para sayo...

Someone sent me this one via e-mail entitled "A Letter to the One that God has prepared for me"

2007-08-21T05:42:00.000-07:00

I am wondering at this very moment if you are thinking of me, if like me, you are wondering what is taking us so long to find each other. Many times I thought I finally found you only to be disillusioned by the fact that my wait has not yet ended. I get up each morning hoping, dreaming, longing to meet you.

I am thinking of how we will meet, would it be as romantic as the ones I have seen in movies? Or is it possible that I have known you all my life but we have yet to realize that we are meant for each other? Oh how I wish you were here right now because you are the only one who has all the answers to all my questions.

Sometimes I ask myself if I have ever really known "love". I do not have the answer to that question either but i believe that, more often than not, we will never really know what love is until we find that right person... and since I haven't found you yet, then maybe I do not really know what love is!

You just don't know how often I dream of finally knowing what it feels like to be in your arms. Even at this very moment I am imagining how you will simply sweep me off my feet! Perhaps I would be drawn to you by your smile or your eyes, or maybe even how you manage to make me laugh by your silly little ways!

I don't really know for sure but I am praying that God will help me recognize you when the right time comes. I think of all the pain that I have gone through in the past and of how much I have cried since the day I began my search. I just wanted you to know that I find my strength in clinging onto my vision of the beautiful life ahead of me- the life I shall spend with you. In my mind and in my heart I know that you are worth all that pain and sacrifice.

After all, the tears have become a part of my life and I believe that they are slowly washing away my flaws so that I would become perfect, not perfect in its truest sense, but perfect- for YOU! I wonder if you've gone through so much pain as well. I wonder if you've been hurt so many times along the journey.

But my dearest one, please don't ever give up because I'm right here... patiently waiting for you! I assure you that when we finally find each other I would slowly heal those wounds by my love.

At night, I would look out my window and stare at the beautiful sky, hoping that somehow you are also looking up and wondering about me. I utter a silent prayer and send all my cries to the heavens above thinking that in time they would reach you. And when I feel impatient, I just close my eyes and believe that you are on your way and that you are longing to see me as well. It is funny but when I finally fall asleep, it is still you that I think of, for you are always in my dreams. It seems that, for now, that is the only place where I can hold on to you, long enough to tell you how much I love you. In my dreams you would kiss away my fears and wrap me with your arms of love.

And this, all the more, makes me want to wake up and face the new day ahead with the hope that soon enough, you will no longer be a dream but a reality and once again I am assured that you are worth the wait . And when that time comes everything will fall into its place, just as I had thought and dreamed, just as I had believed it would be! By then, I would simply look back and smile at all that I have gone through, in spite of the pain and amidst the simple joys of life- and I would be very thankful because they all led me to you!

In the meantime, take care of yourself for me. Hold on to our dream and don't even think of letting go. Believe in your heart that we will find each other no matter what happens. God has planned the course and it is up to us to follow the directions. Don't worry; don't be afraid about getting lost. God saw to it that all the roads no matter which one you choose to follow, lead to me.

-Testify Chronicles

Indulge the memories

2007-08-21T05:40:00.000-07:00

This is the sad story of love. A story which I will never forget. A story which repeats as the heart of time continues to exist, as long as there is courage and hope. And when time fills with love, overflows with feeling, and choke with tears and shouted loneliness, its walls will break. Remember, stories with endings not quite the same.

How they got to know is not very important.

Finals is almost done, last day of school. Me and friends decided to meet up for a dinner and meet a long lost friend of mine whom I haven't seen for quite a long time. It was him. We had dinner and settle in a coffee shop for a talk. Then he met my other friends. They easily got along and feel comfortable at each others company. In which I thought the connection within us that night would be in that day alone. Meaning no extensions or continuation what so ever! BUT! I was absolutely wrong. Until it came to a point that he was the only guy that gave me pink roses which I never expected in my entire life. Bakit siya pa? I will never forget that night it was Easter Sunday we meet to hear mass and eat somewhere. Oh my! If I could just go back and do what should be done I will. Going back to my story... The relationship went well but of course all of the relationships are complicated. (till here for the mean time)

"Slander"

2007-08-20T05:06:00.000-07:00

You've been having a good day when suddenly some person slips up and tells you something that wasn't meant to reach your ears. It could be some kind of humor, something personal about yourself you entrusted someone with, or just someone whose had a bitch about you. It really doesn't matter which category it fits into, it still hurts. The worst part of hearing this kind of information is that there's usually not a hell of a lot you can do about the situation. The sad truth is that you can't make people stop talking about you.

This just recently happened to me. I knew there was nothing to stop the gossip circulating. I sat down shaking and wondered what my options were. I felt so ashamed about the issue, even though I knew it wasn't true. But that didn't seem to matter. I felt so bad that I couldn't even ring my family. That was my first mistake. Now really, that was the stupidest thing I could have done.

What I allowed these girls to do was damage my "sense of self". Even though what they had been saying was untrue and just plain cruel, I let myself believe I must have been a bad person for them to be saying this kind of stuff about me. But once time passed, I realized that kind of thinking is so untrue.

Sadly many of us have this kind of thing happen at some point in our lives. And when it's not about you, it's hard to understand why the other person is letting it get to them. Words can physically harm you, but when you're the victim of the gossip it's horrible, and it's painful.

to get through it!

I'd just like to insinuate that the next time you hear a humor about someone else, think twice before you repeat it. Remember how it felt when it happened to you, how made your skin "kilabutan" crawl to think people were talking about you behind your back. I'm sure almost everyone had the experience of being "headline/topic" at some points in their lives. And the only way to stop is by respecting others and not repeating the gossip you hear, no matter how good it sounds. Remember, in this game there's rarely discrimination, and the next time it could be YOU they're talking about!

***Now don't get me wrong, it's good to have simple friends, as they are fun and offer another network of people to socialize with. But you can't bet real friends, you know ones you wear tackies around, go to a movie when you are feeling down or just hang out and talk about stuff.

Great stupidity

2007-07-23T10:44:00.000-07:00

Siff :o( Last night I put pepper in the dinner and its aroma made me sneeze all over my food. And it caused me a puffy eye and a runny nose. So I have to look for something to blow off my sneezing. I saw a bottle of capsules and it wasn't properly labeled. In my excitement I took one, assuming it was for colds. Then after an hour I felt very sleepy. It was not for colds after all... Tanga.

Blushing =* My hon texted me the other day and told me that he was with my crush along with my baby Anna Ü I told them to say hi for me.

Problematic =( Papa is still mad at me... Beacause of the burning bush este burning pan coz I left the stove open last monday. How could I make it up to him?

Nostalgic,,, I want to visit Antipolo again, to look over Manila Ü

Confused--- Does the devil knows she the evil? harhar

Joyful*** I got my palnner updated, yihee! I can now browse it from time to time and jot down as much as I want to.

It is 1:39 am past bed time, but I still have to meet manong Steve and Smooch at the next block to visit Baclaran for a novena prayer.

@ MMC - We love you Trish

2007-06-16T13:53:00.000-07:00

I spent my friday night with my Smoochie and Beb at MMC. It was fun fooling around the elevator, stairs, bed, pillows, pantry and comfort rooms of the hospital. Ha-ha! It what one of a kind experience! And talking to this particular cute-nurse . I MUST HAVE HIM! (kidding)

asado mamon, mamon at Goldi, Pastillas, Choclait, GATORADE, unwanted air - di kinaya ni D&G Light Blue. CARAFE - closed. I don;t ned to elaborate everything happend. BUT it was different.

Wakeful me

2007-05-14T08:53:00.000-07:00

It's almost 2am way past bedtime but my eyes wide open. So many things are coming into my mind like it's going to explode. Why everyone is sleeping when I can't... Maybe it’s time to get my coffee. Do you know Insomnia has totally different perception about time about everything in your life when you get use to it? Like immortality because you know the thing that never comes is a thing no to be afraid of. My Heart aches sometimes but when I feel sad I write happy words and joyous verses to counter my darker thoughts. Am I making any sense to you? May be not but hey that’s my space and I am writing after the week of sleepless dream less vibes I have. To give you some inner thoughts of being me :)

New stuff I know.

2007-03-28T14:41:00.000-07:00

*Cramming is a sin.

*Cathie and I should seek a new beginning.

*M.Y.M.P. --- love them!

*Incubus --- I heart Brandon baby! He's my stellar...

*Urbandub --- nice one!

*Keep yourself from gossips. They can kill you behind your back!

*From my own point of view --- Marriage never last.

*Drink alot of water 24/7.

*Know who your real friends are.

*Keep yourself busy!

*Pouting is irresistable!

*That I am a camera-whore.

*Never trust a stranger.

*St. Scho --- highschool not college.

*Never sit along the corridors of St. Scho!

*Pakikipamuhay Ü

*Cello's Doughnut is a MUST!

*Budgetting my allowance --- needs improvement!

*Don't talk while eating polvoron.

*My nephew is a sweet boy.

*Define Nadeth Rae Rival - "cry baby".

*How about Cielo Marie Alonzo? - just all about her "Krumpy" it completes her day.

*Precious Joana May Ramos can skip sleep for two weeks? WOW!

*Raychelle Jorge Navarro is no longer an Isla Girl.

*My sister confessed something to me that ...hush...

The most significant day in my life

2007-03-27T09:59:00.000-07:00

Many of us mark dates to be able to remember that particular day, perhaps it's meaningful or special। But no matter it is there are some of us do this to bring back whatever is left and done in our past। Mine is yesterday. Here's why: because back then at 2005 27th of March is the Easter Sunday. Another thing, is something came up in this day that ended up too soon. There are many reasons why. And we cannot stop them to happen. I assumed reasons sucks at times but we learned to deal with them, on the other hand it makes us happy -- but wait prepare yourself because at some point in time of happiness there's always sorrow. There are times that I wish that these memories in me would be over, but it will always remain as a part of me.

FOREVER...

MEAN Girls

2007-03-19T07:51:00.000-07:00

It was afternoon at St. Scholastica's study hall a place where you can stay anytime and do whatever you want except for eating, drinking and be too loud. A girl was reading her book entitled Five People You Will Meet In Heaven by Mitch Albom was distracted by her new blockmates. Particularly Cielo Marie, who used to be very warm and sweet. Let's start with her... My ever loving Cielito --- Our Master! Because we our her follower, no matter where we have to go we have to follow her path to be able to view a particular being. (you want I mean CIELO) She loves to eat and eat... SHY at times! A rocker! But full grown now!

Come and Go

2007-03-09T07:02:00.000-08:00

He just COME and GO.

If God was listening... May He gave me the courage to deal with every issues and confusion I have right now.

Life somehow is unfair in such the way it ends. DEATH.

In relation, My life has ended almost 2 years ago. With sorrow and REGRETS. In life there are people that becomes a part of us. It can be a family, a friend, and someone who can change us forever.

Couple of days ago, sometime around 11:00 pm. Two friends are arguing and I was one of them and sipping my favorite Hot Caramel Macchiato. "I miss this beb (pseudonym for my best friend and referring to the coffee shop we've missed for quite sometime). And maybe until we get all white hair I will never forget that particular coffee shop, simply because my story began there. In that coffee shop alone.

A story which repeats as the heart of time continues to exist, as long as there is courage and hope. And when the times fills with love, overflows with feelings, and choke with tears and shouted loneliness, it will suddenly break. Remember, stories with endings are quite not the same.

How they got know is not very important.

To cut the story short, unfortunately we didn't make it. I don't have to elaborate every detail merely because for me it's a part of history.

Right now I'm still in the series of letting it out of my system. And everytime I'm reaching the final step in the grieving process. Here he is, unconciously pulling me back. Sometimes, I asked myself questions and up until now the anwers were not enough.

It's not that I want him out. I just want distance because it will be difficult for me start and live again with these psychological feature of experiencing affective and emotional states with him around.

For you: I'm sorry. and I miss "us".